Remember, You Are A Human. Not A Doormat!

Being the Yes-Man might make you think you are the nicest person in the world. People would often look up to you and depend on you for anything and everything. You may think you hold on to a special space in people’s hearts. But let me tell you one thing…

The Doormat Is Never Given Special Attention.

Only when it goes missing;

People know the dirt in their shoes. And the amount of dirt they have been carrying all this time.

Saying “NO” will not make you a bad person. It only highlights your privilege, self esteem and adds dignity to your existence.

The more you say “YES”, the more people will take advantage of you. They will take you and your favor for granted. It’s not your fault — people all around the world are just like that by default!

Just like how man misuses nature and her offerings and services; takes her for granted despite the fact that she gives them all for free; he would misuse your favors too!

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You need not say NO for everything as well. Learn to prioritize. First yourself then the others.

When you say No, if they get offended as say “What personal business? You did it all these days..Can’t you….bla bla” then understand that they were just using you all this time and you’ve been their Doormat!

If they understand and if they have been grateful, they will smile without any hesitation and say “alright! No probs!”. They will understand and respect your personal space.

Next time when someone asks to get their “Regular Coffee” on your way to office, tell them “NO, I can’t because I need to take care of some personal business”.

When someone asks you for your password, tell them “NO, It is called password for a reason. I can’t share it with you”.

Next time when your colleague asks you to finish their part of work like you always do because they would like to hang out with their friends, tell them “NO, I can’t. Because I have my own stack of work to complete!”

If your roommate says some excuse as usual to escape from sharing the workload while preparing the dinner, tell her “NO, I can’t cook either. Let’s eat out and go Dutch for the bills!”

Learn To Say NO.
It’s NOW or NEVER.

Remember, You Are A Human.
Not A Doormat!

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

–The Confused Young Adult

4 Types Of Mean People And How To Handle Them

Today I was wondering, there are many different kinds of wonderful people in this world! But then I remembered another fact that one bad apple can spoil the entire barrel! Which made me think about the “types of mean people”! So, I made a list that categorizes mean people into 4 wide sub-categories and I have given a few practical and possible suggestions that can help you in handling them.

1. The Know-It-All

1. The Know-It-All

This is a bunch of people who think they know “EVERYTHING” and they believe that only their action/opinion/decision is right. Every one else in the world is wrong. You try to share something to your group, and they will be like “Oh yeah..that one? I know that.. that’s so out of date. We should probably try my suggestion!”, and make you look stupid. Or, when you say you don’t know something, their immediate loud reaction would be “Don’t you know even THAT??” and make you feel low and inferior right in front of your peers/colleagues.

Note:

These people crave for attention and love to dominate. Make sure you give a solid point. Do not get crumpled just because they snubbed you once. People around you are also as frustrated and scared as you are because of that one person. Nobody’s going to judge as the others are also sailing on the same boat! Stand for yourself and don’t forget to make your point! You can do it!

2. Sarcastic Dumb-heads

2. Sarcastic Dumb-heads

Now this one, is the most annoying crowd of people who actually have nothing in their heads. But all they do is drop a sarcastic comment for everything you do/say. They are so good at passing mean comments that they can humiliate anybody regardless of their talents and knowledge. Most times, when you hear their comments, you go speechless that you don’t know how to respond to such heights of meanness. (Yes, not all can be great at witty puns).

Note:

Remember they are “dumb-heads” and all they want is some acknowledgement by the crowd. Since they can’t get it, they try to destroy the ones that do! So, when you hear their comments, the best way to get back at them is to take the high road. The more you acknowledge their sarcasm, the more satisfied they will be. So do not ever care about their pathetic attempt. Do not look hurt. Do not react at all! If they are someone superior to you, you can’t just walk away, right? In such cases, smile at them politely (genuinely) and check their reactions. (trust me, it will be so awesome!!!!)

3. The Posh Plastics

3. The Posh Plastics

Have you seen the guys and girls who are filthy rich, have-it-all, who walk like ice sculptures and care about nobody? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. For them, only their happiness and comfort matters. Anybody else is nobody to them. It is like, people other than their crew is invisible to them. They are so plastic – “no sympathy, no empathy if you don’t belong to the category” is their motto. Cold and Heartless just like ice sculptures.

Note:

Well, if you don’t belong to their ice-sculpture category, it means they don’t belong to yours either! You can be the fireball that you are! Who cares! If it is your workplace, just do what you are supposed to do, Don’t try to fit in as you will only be humiliated more and more. Do your duty and do not expect any acknowledgement or acceptance in their circle. Don’t take it to your heart. Because they can’t fit in your category either! Remember, they are ice-sculptures and you are a fireball!! 🙂

4. Overpowered Bullies

4. Overpowered Bullies

This set, exists almost everywhere! Overpowered can suggest power in many ways : talent, intelligence, physical strength, social strength, criminal mastermind,….” the list could go on forever. They are bullies! They pick on the weaker ones and feed on them. This set of people love to hold power on a person’s emotions. They need to have the monopoly in their area and they would do anything to get it right.

Note:

Bullying is extremely dangerous and can harm a person physically as well as mentally. The best way to handle a bully is to walk away from them and do not do anything to provoke them. Be confident about yourself. Never ever let them play with your head and emotions. Remember, you are stronger than the bullies in your own way. If you think it is going beyond limits, report it and seek help from a member of authority. Do not delay!

Stay Strong. Be Kind.

Yuvathi

Story Time With A Difference #2 : Use Things and Love People. Not Vice Versa!

How many times have you felt like you have been used by someone for their own selfish needs? You always thought they loved, but the truth is, they were using you like a tool to get their tasks done. How many times have you wished you were his iphone or you were her makeup kit so that she would love you too?

Here’s a story that reminds an important message :

Use Things and Love People. Not Vice Versa!

It was a pleasant evening, when a young and happy couple celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary. They enjoyed the sea breeze over a candle light dinner and walked barefoot, holding hands, along the sands of the beach..reminiscing all their adventures together in the past 5 years. On their way home, they stopped in their favorite spot and decided to exchange gifts.

The wife gifted her husband, his favorite book’s rare edition! He felt so special and overjoyed. After relishing the moment of joy over receiving such a precious gift, the man handed his wife a key.

Yes, a key to a brand new car worth a million dollars! The wife was speechless and overwhelmed by his choice of gift! He asked her to go for a ride on her new car. She was super excited that she hopped into it right away!

It hadn’t been even 10 minutes since she left, the man heard sirens blaring and ambulance vehicle rushing towards the same direction. Panic stricken, the man immediately rushed to the spot and noticed that the very same car had met with an accident and it was rammed, shapeless! It looked like a piece of junk in the middle of the road. Right next to the car, he saw his wife, standing, shocked, scared but safe. She had only a few bruises on her arms and forehead. But the million dollar car was crushed into rubble!

She stood there feeling utterly guilty over damaging such an expensive car within few minutes of buying it! She couldn’t even see her husband’s face. She was cursing herself for being so careless. But the man ran towards her, gave her a tight hug and said “Thank you for being safe. I love you. Not the car. Not the money. We can buy another vehicle. There’s never another you“..

THE END

The next time when your best friend or your loved one loses or damages your prized possession, an object that might mean a lot to you but can be bought by money; remember : You ‘love’ people and not the things. You only ‘use’ things, not people.

Hope you all had fun reading this week’s Story Time With A Difference. See you again next week on Story Time With A Difference!

Thank you for stopping by!

~ Yuvathi 🙂

Today In Short : #3 Impatience – Why Don’t People Wait?!

Today I had some work at the bank. So, as soon as I got off from work I went to the near by bus station to reach there on time. There were 3 buses going to the same destination and I got into last one  in which some 20 people were seated. The bus drivers and the conductors had gone for a tea break so we all had to wait for few minutes until they came back. All these buses would leave the terminus with a maximum of 5 minutes’ time difference between each others’ departure, so it doesn’t matter which one you get into.

After say, 5 minutes, the driver of the first bus came back and all passengers sitting in my bus (technically not “my” bus, but you know to make it simple 😉 )  got up and scurried their way through the rest of the crowd to get into that one. You see, general logic, the first one with the driver takes off first. 😜

But unfortunately their conductor hadn’t arrived, he was still reporting at the office.

I didn’t leave because I know how it works. 😜

As soon as they all left and got settled there, the bus driver and conductor of my bus came back after their break and took off! 😜

Once again some of those passengers came back running and boarded my bus while the rest had a sad loser’s expression on their faces. Duh! It is just a bus not a million dollar lottery! Why do they leave? It is only a matter of 2 or 3 minutes! Why can’t they wait??

impatience queue

At the bank, there was a queue to submit certain documents. There were 3 counters and the queue was too long in all of them. To manage the crowd they opened another counter and everybody hurried and dashed against each other to reach that counter.

Once Again, I didn’t leave because I know how it works. 😄

Now, that counter had twice the longer queue. 😜 I was just behind 3 people in my counter now. I submitted the documents and was out in no time.

Even at traffic signals we can see people sneaking their way through all other vehicles to get to the front line. They squeeze through the gaps, hit other vehicles, get abused by fellow drivers and passengers only to go block the route and wait all over again. 😏

impatience traffic

Why don’t people wait? At ticket counters, traffic signals, banks, grocery stores, buses, trains,..in every single place I see people running from one corner to another to get their work done quickly. They don’t see how absurd their activities are. They are only wasting their time and energy. Why are they so impatient? Why should they push through the crowd to get nothing?! No matter how many times this happens, people hardly ever change. 😏

Today In Short : #1 Kindness

Every evening, after work, I go to an educational institute which is 2 kilometers away from my place. I usually walk till the bus stop and take an auto or bus from there because it is more convenient.

Coming from a country with the second highest population in the world, it is quite rare to find a place without people. You are always surrounded by different kinds of people speaking different languages ( I hope you know, there are over 780 languages spoken in my country), with different complexions (Yes, North, South, East and West.. we all have different complexions and features!) wearing different kinds of clothing ( Well, there is so much cultural diversity, it will take years for me to explain 😀 ), rich, poor, tall, short, good, bad.. the list is endless. Simply put, you are just surrounded by all kinds of people everywhere!

Realizing the beauty of our country and the unity among our people amidst all the diversity, I was so proud, overwhelmed and impressed all at the same time! 😀

Well, the human mind can not always think straight. Right? The moment you are proud about something, it automatically pops an ugly picture or a figure of doubt to destroy all the happiness..and.. there it goes!

My second thoughts:

But.. out of these 1.25 billion people, how many are really kind to one another? 

This thought made me question the very basic nature of humanity and I was lost in deep thoughts. But in less than a minute, the universe gave me live examples to clear my doubt! 😮

While I was on my way to the bus stop, I saw a young woman stopping her bike on the road very close to a cow and a little calf. I wondered what she was doing and in fact I was worried that the cow might hurt her. But when I went closer I witnessed something really nice! She took some fresh bananas from her bag and fed the stray cow and her calf and left quietly after watching them eat. 🙂

By the time I reached the traffic signal near the bus stop, I saw a little boy holding a visually challenged man’s arm and helping him cross the road. The man patted the boy’s shoulder before parting ways. The smile on their faces was precious. One being happy to have helped, the other being glad and grateful. It was just beautiful. 🙂

When I was in the bus, an old woman, a florist, asked me to help her dial a number on her phone. (She didn’t know to operate her phone, well that happens here. Not all are techies and there’s nothing wrong!) After I did, she smiled and gave me a beautiful rose from her basket. Wow! 🙂

kindness

Wohoo! What a day! I have never been happier. The day was so lovely. 3 beautiful incidents to show that in a country with so much diversity and competition to survive and achieve, people do have time to show some kindness, help each other and be good to one another. In fact, I realized, that’s what binds us all together. 🙂