Over-Possessiveness Can Kill A Relationship!

Being possessive is cute. Yes, when someone is possessive about you, you realize how much you mean to them. It shows you that they don’t want to lose you no matter what! Of course, that’s really sweet! Isn’t it?
But too much of anything is dangerous. It is definitely true when it comes to possessiveness too!

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Recently, I almost broke up with my best friend because he was too threatened by my interest for another guy! Yes, my best friend was feeling scared that he might lose me to my new “crush”. He was afraid that I wouldn’t spend time with him just because I thought this new guy was hot!

Woah….Right?

Who would ever stop spending time with their best friend! Actually, the best friend usually forms the support system. He is supposed to be the one helping me with the timing and catchy dialogues and stuff…right?

But that didn’t happen.

Instead he was so threatened and over-possessive that I lost interest on my new-found crush and had a bitter taste in my friendship too. I couldn’t take his constant nagging anymore. I almost broke up with my bestie! But anyway, we talked it all out and we are back together as BFF’s and my crush is seeing someone else now.. *Damn It*

So, here’s a request – small piece of advice from a victim of over-possessiveness to the rest of the world :

Caging a bird is never a good idea. The bird is meant to fly high and not to be strangled in a cage. The moment it finds a gap, it will definitely fly away!

Let it free, take good care and it will fly back to you because you are the home in this whole wide world.

If you love someone, it is okay to be possessive. But please have some confidence about your relationship! Understand that whoever has to stay, will definitely stay with you. If they don’t, then they were never meant to be!

Do not kill what you have because you’re too afraid of losing it. If you constantly fear..you will definitely lose it anyway! So, please take good care of what you have. Enjoy and love with all your heart!

Be the sweet home for your loved ones.
Don’t ever be a cruel cage.

Live and let live.
~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Most of us make the biggest of blunders when we are angry. The recent incident about a girl littering her boyfriend’s car with sanitary pads is one of the craziest news I have ever read on the internet. She thought he was having an affair, while he was actually out – planning a surprise birthday party for her. Oh dear… :-/

This reminds me of a wonderful adage that my mother often states in our mother tongue:

An Angry Man Is Never Smart.

How often have you done something miserable out of utter rage and regretted it? How many times did you wish you never said those words to your dear ones? How badly have you hurt your loved ones with your angry meaningless words and deeds and hated yourself forever?

What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?
What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Once the damage is done; the relationship is never the same. You may patch up, but there is always the scar.

How can you avoid this? Prevention is better then cure. But nobody is Jesus Christ or Mahatma Gandhi. We all do have our temper and limits. I can’t tell you not to get angry. But one can always learn to manage the situation and handle the temper.

Here are some of the healthy ways that I have heard of / follow myself.

  • Some have the habit of drinking several glasses of water when they are angry. That’s one of the healthiest ways I would suggest. It cools you down physically as well as mentally. It also doesn’t give you the opportunity to say mean things because you are busy gulping down the water!
  • Take a shower or shut the door and take a nap. Now, that’s my favorite! A nap might sound like a difficult idea, but it does wonders. It helps the brain to relax and gives piece of mind. It creates the space to re-think as the heat of the moment is gone and you get to analyze the situation in a different light!
  • Write down all those words in your journal or on a piece of paper, and destroy – burn/shred it later. Yes, I do that when am about to lose my temper. I have a separate notebook where I pour my heart out when am upset. Most of the times, when I re-read those words, I feel so glad that I didn’t carelessly utter them. Remember, destroying it is very important. You don’t want the other person to read it by chance! You don’t want those mean words around you either.
  • Go for a long drive or a walk. If you can’t stay in the same space as the other person, you can always walk away for sometime and come back when your mind is clear.

Some of the important DONT’S!

  • Never ever post things on social networking sites when you are mad. Moreover, advertising your meanness is also not a great idea. It might be a way to get back at the other person or might seem like an outlet for you, but for the world it would be “popcorn time“!
  • Do not blog about it either. Even if you write one, do not publish it immediately. Come back after a day or two. You might thank yourself for not publishing it! ( I have trashed a few drafts myself!)
  • Don’t go and grumble all the details to a third person and create a chaos. It is not going to help you in any way. Drama should be on stage. Not in real life!
  • Do not text, call, e-mail that person right away. Once you hit the send button, it is over and done! So stay away from communication tech and apps until you calm down.

Those are some of my favorite ideas. Do you have any other interesting ways to avoid doing/saying mean things when you are angry? 

Feel free to share them in the comment box below! 🙂

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult