What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Most of us make the biggest of blunders when we are angry. The recent incident about a girl littering her boyfriend’s car with sanitary pads is one of the craziest news I have ever read on the internet. She thought he was having an affair, while he was actually out – planning a surprise birthday party for her. Oh dear… :-/

This reminds me of a wonderful adage that my mother often states in our mother tongue:

An Angry Man Is Never Smart.

How often have you done something miserable out of utter rage and regretted it? How many times did you wish you never said those words to your dear ones? How badly have you hurt your loved ones with your angry meaningless words and deeds and hated yourself forever?

What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?
What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Once the damage is done; the relationship is never the same. You may patch up, but there is always the scar.

How can you avoid this? Prevention is better then cure. But nobody is Jesus Christ or Mahatma Gandhi. We all do have our temper and limits. I can’t tell you not to get angry. But one can always learn to manage the situation and handle the temper.

Here are some of the healthy ways that I have heard of / follow myself.

  • Some have the habit of drinking several glasses of water when they are angry. That’s one of the healthiest ways I would suggest. It cools you down physically as well as mentally. It also doesn’t give you the opportunity to say mean things because you are busy gulping down the water!
  • Take a shower or shut the door and take a nap. Now, that’s my favorite! A nap might sound like a difficult idea, but it does wonders. It helps the brain to relax and gives piece of mind. It creates the space to re-think as the heat of the moment is gone and you get to analyze the situation in a different light!
  • Write down all those words in your journal or on a piece of paper, and destroy – burn/shred it later. Yes, I do that when am about to lose my temper. I have a separate notebook where I pour my heart out when am upset. Most of the times, when I re-read those words, I feel so glad that I didn’t carelessly utter them. Remember, destroying it is very important. You don’t want the other person to read it by chance! You don’t want those mean words around you either.
  • Go for a long drive or a walk. If you can’t stay in the same space as the other person, you can always walk away for sometime and come back when your mind is clear.

Some of the important DONT’S!

  • Never ever post things on social networking sites when you are mad. Moreover, advertising your meanness is also not a great idea. It might be a way to get back at the other person or might seem like an outlet for you, but for the world it would be “popcorn time“!
  • Do not blog about it either. Even if you write one, do not publish it immediately. Come back after a day or two. You might thank yourself for not publishing it! ( I have trashed a few drafts myself!)
  • Don’t go and grumble all the details to a third person and create a chaos. It is not going to help you in any way. Drama should be on stage. Not in real life!
  • Do not text, call, e-mail that person right away. Once you hit the send button, it is over and done! So stay away from communication tech and apps until you calm down.

Those are some of my favorite ideas. Do you have any other interesting ways to avoid doing/saying mean things when you are angry? 

Feel free to share them in the comment box below! 🙂

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

Today In Short : #9 Exes – The Blood Sucking Leeches

A few days ago I wrote about The So-Called Best Friends – the ones who stay with you when they are in need and vanish when you are in trouble. Today, I realised I must write about the blood sucking leeches – the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend or an ex-friend, who won’t let you move on nor let you live the moment.

Exes - The Blood Sucking Leeches
Exes – The Blood Sucking Leeches

How many ever times you try to pull them out of your life and throw them away, some how or the other they crawl back into your life and stick to you until you get sick of them and destroy their very existence in your memory completely – just like the blood sucking Leeches!

If you have had a healthy break up, where you both have a clear understanding of why it may not work between the two of you; well you are safe and sound. But most people aren’t matured enough, are they? Being young and confused is only a part of growing up.

Although I thought that talking to the ex is not a bad idea because we broke up 2 years ago, my intuition told me I was wrong. When the ex pinged me (which was totally out of the blue) I was excited, really happy! But the truth is the leech that I threw a long time ago had just crawled back to my doorstep.

Here is why: 

The leech-like ex’s don’t want to patch up or re-kindle the relationship. They know it won’t work at all, so do you. Yet, they can’t let you go, and so they text you or call you and do all the sweet talks like : “I thought we could be friends..“or “I don’t want ‘us’ to end in bad terms..without talking or meeting..” and  “What we had was special, it means a lot to me..” etc..

When they ping you, your heart goes “aaaawww” but actually, it should be “eeewww yuck”. Especially when the other person is egoistic, self-centered, ____________.

You are not even an entry in their priority list. You are just an  option, more like an unused unnecessary back-up for their insecurity.

Talking to them would only make you feel low, sad and insecure. You will be lost in the nostalgic-limbo.

Thanks to my best friend, she made me think twice, see the truth and confront it and put a full stop to it. I believe it is now my turn to help others.

So, the next time your ex pings you, remember all the reasons why you ended it in the first place. If they happen to say the words mentioned here, then ask yourself

“Do I really have to stick to this unnecessary sickening nostalgic limbo of unhealthy thoughts and useless memories?”

Ask all the right and wrong questions. After all it is your life and you deserve to play it the way you like it.

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult