Time Moves On. So Does Life.

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I still remember the day…
Crying my heart out,
Sitting in this very same room,
Listening to the album am listening to right now…

The music is a memento,
That heartache is just a memory now
It is all just a time long gone..

That’s how life is.
Time just moves on.
So does Life.
For better sunshine & rainbows. 🙂

~Yuvathi 🙂 ❤
The Confused Young Adult

Honestly, Nobody Really Cares About The Coffee Stain On Your Shirt!

When we pour some coffee on our shirt by mistake, we go crazy because the stain would look ugly and everybody might notice it. We feel embarrassed even before actually getting embarrassed. Especially if it happens when we are at work!  We rush to the restroom and wash the stain over and over until it almost vanishes, and yet we will be worried that there is still the mark of the coffee stain and people might notice it!

But seriously, Nobody Really Cares Or Notices The Coffee Stain As Much As You Do!!!

Honestly, Nobody Really Cares About Th Coffee Stain On Your T-Shirt

Do you know why? Because it is the most insignificant detail and even if they notice, people wouldn’t care because it happens to “everyone”!

The same happens if you trip and fall on the floor! People generally don’t care about how you fell. They would only be worried about you if you are hurt!

People tend to empathize and support each other in most situations, although there are a few sadists; but why should we care about the sadists anyway?

People around me are always surprised because I hardly bother about what people think about me. I wouldn’t mind putting my hair into a bun or wear loose clothes to work on a sunny day. I wouldn’t mind wearing a sweater when the A/C is too high for me! I think about my comfort and health first over others’ opinion about it!

Why should we all spoil our peace of mind by caring about others who are also spoiling theirs for the same reason? I always tell my friends “Make sure you put your happiness and your health first. Then comes others and their opinions”.

If you know you are doing the right thing and yet you are afraid to do because of what others might think about you, here’s a word :

People Actually Don’t Care As Much As You Think They Do!

The moment you stop thinking about others’ opinions, you serve yourself with unlimited freedom to live an independent, fearless and happy life.

Happy Weekend!

~Yuvathi  🙂

– The Confused Young Adult

If You Can’t Keep A Secret, Don’t Expect Others To Keep It As Well!

How many times have you told someone your heart’s closest secret or a personal story in the belief that they will keep it a secret too?

And in that, how many times have you been shattered when they broke your trust?

you Can't Keep A Secret, Don't Expect Others To Keep It As Well!

This happens to almost everyone.

It has happened tons of times to me too! Mostly, I trusted the wrong person all through the year, quite oblivious of the fact that every word of all the secrets I shared was known to everyone around me!

Well, just like all humans I was torn apart when I got to know about it. I thought I was stupid for being so naive. For some time, I lost my belief in true friendship and trust.

But we just can’t stop trusting people.. Right?

Life is a matter of faith and belief after all..

If we trust we get hurt.

If we don’t trust, then there is no point in living at all!

So then, how can we prevent ourselves from getting hurt?

Here’s is a simple solution :

1. Stop being a drama queen!

Every time I tell something confidential, personal or a seemingly secretive information to someone, I always keep in mind of the vicious probability.

Yes, the probability that someday I will receive the very same information – a highly exaggerated version of the same matter from some random stranger!

This can help you to remain calm and not create a ruckus when the situation gets out of hand! You are mentally prepared for it. So it won’t damage you emotionally!

2. DON’T use the same old dialogue

“Please don’t tell anyone else. Let this be between us”

Yeah, you know why? That’s because the moment you tell someone NOT to think about a monkey — they can think of Nothing Else but a Monkey!!! So just don’t do it. Instead analyse if you are okay with the vicious probability. If you think you are not prepared, then simply keep your mouth shut!

If You Can’t Keep A Secret,
Don’t Expect Others To Keep It As Well!

Why So Much Filter?! Afraid To Wear Your Own Skin?

Why do people add so much filter to their own photos?

I do appreciate a little bit of effects. Photo edits make your dull photo look bright and of course, makes you feel good. I know that and I am not going to brood over every bit of it. But the amount of filter that people apply to their photographs is quite alarming and too scary these days!

The number of apps that help in adding effects, filters to hide all the tan, freckles and blemishes and the ease of use by every common man adds up to the excessive usage of it.

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People change and hide every tiny detail starting from scars to pimples. They even make themselves look fairer (far more than the reality). Sometimes I do NOT recognize the person in the picture at all!

Moreover, we will always know that what we see in that over-filtered photo does not exist in reality. It is all fake. Then why do we have to try to deceive ourselves with the illusion of perfection?

What’s wrong in wearing your own skin??? 

  • Most people do that to make themselves match with their “dream-look”; which is how they wish to look, but they actually don’t.
  • Some do all that just to receive maximum “likes” and lovely “comments” starting from “gorgeous/handsome” to “hot/sexy” in the social networking sites.

People are becoming so weak, that they are unable to accept their own skin, the reality, the beauty that lies beneath all the blemishes.. the scars and freckles that makes the “Beautiful YOU”.

So what can we do about this?

  • Firstly, avoid too much filter. Edit what’s necessary. Make sure you are “you” in the photo and upload them.
  • When you see a “real-photo”, appreciate the uploader for the filter-free picture. Make them love their own skin. Acknowledge their beauty.
  • If possible, try to alert those who use too much filter. Give them a gentle reminder. Motivate them to add an original photo.

After all, we all live to be acknowledged by someone or the other. 🙂

Say NO to Too Much Filter.
Say YES to Your Own Skin.

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

– The Confused Young Adult

Remember, You Are A Human. Not A Doormat!

Being the Yes-Man might make you think you are the nicest person in the world. People would often look up to you and depend on you for anything and everything. You may think you hold on to a special space in people’s hearts. But let me tell you one thing…

The Doormat Is Never Given Special Attention.

Only when it goes missing;

People know the dirt in their shoes. And the amount of dirt they have been carrying all this time.

Saying “NO” will not make you a bad person. It only highlights your privilege, self esteem and adds dignity to your existence.

The more you say “YES”, the more people will take advantage of you. They will take you and your favor for granted. It’s not your fault — people all around the world are just like that by default!

Just like how man misuses nature and her offerings and services; takes her for granted despite the fact that she gives them all for free; he would misuse your favors too!

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You need not say NO for everything as well. Learn to prioritize. First yourself then the others.

When you say No, if they get offended as say “What personal business? You did it all these days..Can’t you….bla bla” then understand that they were just using you all this time and you’ve been their Doormat!

If they understand and if they have been grateful, they will smile without any hesitation and say “alright! No probs!”. They will understand and respect your personal space.

Next time when someone asks to get their “Regular Coffee” on your way to office, tell them “NO, I can’t because I need to take care of some personal business”.

When someone asks you for your password, tell them “NO, It is called password for a reason. I can’t share it with you”.

Next time when your colleague asks you to finish their part of work like you always do because they would like to hang out with their friends, tell them “NO, I can’t. Because I have my own stack of work to complete!”

If your roommate says some excuse as usual to escape from sharing the workload while preparing the dinner, tell her “NO, I can’t cook either. Let’s eat out and go Dutch for the bills!”

Learn To Say NO.
It’s NOW or NEVER.

Remember, You Are A Human.
Not A Doormat!

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

–The Confused Young Adult

The Why’s, What’s, When’s and How’s That Trouble Our Hearts..

As I sat wondering about all the broken relationships, long lost friends, heartaches and heartbreaks, my mind got cluttered with a million questions. The more I thought, the heavier they got!

I thought I should jot them down and ask the world in an Open Letter…..

Do you feel the same way too?

The Why's, What's, When's and How's That Trouble Our Hearts..

Why is it difficult to trust whole heartedly and love unconditionally?

What stops people from shedding their masks and be their true selves? 

How many times can one be hurt and yet stay strong and positive for more?

When can we laugh our heart out without worrying about losing this wonderful moment?

What does it take to make someone believe in love, friendship, themselves, ourselves and the world around?

When, Why and How does a lovely relationship get crushed into nothing?

Why is it so difficult to believe all over again after getting hurt?

What is life without expectations?

Why so many expectations when it leaves behind only disappointments..?

How much is too much?

Am pretty sure, we all can answer every one of the questions above. I too can write an entire page on each of them as well.

But how practically true to the heart could they really be?

It is easier to say a lot of things than do them in real life..

Am I wrong?

I could only wish that we all live our lives peacefully without all the Why’s, What’s, When’s and How’s That Trouble Our Hearts..

Now tell me, Do You Feel The Same Way Too?

Sincerely,

 THE Confused Young Adult

Today In Short : #16 – When You’re In Trouble, Think About Those Who’ve Nothing But Hardships

Usually I would be away from the blogosphere because I’d be in deep trouble or depressed and so I wouldn’t write anything as I would have nothing positive to write about. But this time I was away because I landed in a job that every Engineer would dream of! Yes, am glad, excited and grateful for it. Bu sadly, it leaves me with very little time to sit and write..

So, what made me write a post on trouble when am actually in a happy place in life right now? (although there are some existing troubles and worries that cling on to the shoulders and never let you go…)

And…

Of course, life is a “package” and it comes with all kinds of flavors including bitter and sour, not just sweet and spice. Savor it all. Or end up starving. It’s your choice.

Talking about choice, I always tell people that you choose what you want in your life, be it happiness or sorrows. But some problems are not our choice. We can’t control them. They happen whether you like it or not. All you can do is endure them.

Today In Short : #16 – When You're In Trouble, Think About Those Who've Nothing But Hardships

Here’s what made me re-think about choice of life and troubles:

I hardly discuss about my personal life and the hardships I have been through to anybody and never here on my blog because there’s no point in discussing it. Everybody thinks about problems and believe they have the biggest of troubles. Nobody usually thinks about the fruitful things they are blessed with.

During coffee break, I was discussing about faith in God with my colleague at my new workplace. She is one of the most positive and loving person I have ever seen. She bears a beautiful heart and I admire her for taking everything in a good sense. I never once saw her making a negative remark about anything/anybody. She is an angel!

She told me she had deep faith until she lost her mom a couple of years ago to a huge electric shock. You all might know how much I respect “mothers” and that’s the only term that can make me emotionally weak and weep like a baby. The story was really too hard to digest. I shed no tear as my heart was heavy and I was crying within. Is that anybody’s choice? In front of her I felt so small. My past looked too tiny like a needle in front of a huge mountain. When it was my turn to tell her my story I just told her that I’ve been in some trouble as I grew up, I didn’t narrate it. I felt like I was ineligible to share it as a sad story.

When you are in trouble; you tend to ask “why me??”

When you think you get the worst meal in the whole world, you never know how many people don’t get even a bread-crumb to taste and starve to death.

When you believe you don’t have enough money, you never know how many don’t even have a penny in their pocket or even a pocket to hold a penny. 

When you are in trouble never say “why me?”. Think about those who have nothing but trouble and hardships. Loss of money/property, health issues, family troubles, unemployment, quarrels with spouse, misunderstandings among friends, everything would pass, someday – sooner perhaps than later, the dark clouds would shift and you will see sunshine. Just endure them. Be grateful for all the beautiful people and things you have in life.

Never ever say “why me..?? “.

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

– The Confused Young Adult

4 Types Of Mean People And How To Handle Them

Today I was wondering, there are many different kinds of wonderful people in this world! But then I remembered another fact that one bad apple can spoil the entire barrel! Which made me think about the “types of mean people”! So, I made a list that categorizes mean people into 4 wide sub-categories and I have given a few practical and possible suggestions that can help you in handling them.

1. The Know-It-All

1. The Know-It-All

This is a bunch of people who think they know “EVERYTHING” and they believe that only their action/opinion/decision is right. Every one else in the world is wrong. You try to share something to your group, and they will be like “Oh yeah..that one? I know that.. that’s so out of date. We should probably try my suggestion!”, and make you look stupid. Or, when you say you don’t know something, their immediate loud reaction would be “Don’t you know even THAT??” and make you feel low and inferior right in front of your peers/colleagues.

Note:

These people crave for attention and love to dominate. Make sure you give a solid point. Do not get crumpled just because they snubbed you once. People around you are also as frustrated and scared as you are because of that one person. Nobody’s going to judge as the others are also sailing on the same boat! Stand for yourself and don’t forget to make your point! You can do it!

2. Sarcastic Dumb-heads

2. Sarcastic Dumb-heads

Now this one, is the most annoying crowd of people who actually have nothing in their heads. But all they do is drop a sarcastic comment for everything you do/say. They are so good at passing mean comments that they can humiliate anybody regardless of their talents and knowledge. Most times, when you hear their comments, you go speechless that you don’t know how to respond to such heights of meanness. (Yes, not all can be great at witty puns).

Note:

Remember they are “dumb-heads” and all they want is some acknowledgement by the crowd. Since they can’t get it, they try to destroy the ones that do! So, when you hear their comments, the best way to get back at them is to take the high road. The more you acknowledge their sarcasm, the more satisfied they will be. So do not ever care about their pathetic attempt. Do not look hurt. Do not react at all! If they are someone superior to you, you can’t just walk away, right? In such cases, smile at them politely (genuinely) and check their reactions. (trust me, it will be so awesome!!!!)

3. The Posh Plastics

3. The Posh Plastics

Have you seen the guys and girls who are filthy rich, have-it-all, who walk like ice sculptures and care about nobody? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. For them, only their happiness and comfort matters. Anybody else is nobody to them. It is like, people other than their crew is invisible to them. They are so plastic – “no sympathy, no empathy if you don’t belong to the category” is their motto. Cold and Heartless just like ice sculptures.

Note:

Well, if you don’t belong to their ice-sculpture category, it means they don’t belong to yours either! You can be the fireball that you are! Who cares! If it is your workplace, just do what you are supposed to do, Don’t try to fit in as you will only be humiliated more and more. Do your duty and do not expect any acknowledgement or acceptance in their circle. Don’t take it to your heart. Because they can’t fit in your category either! Remember, they are ice-sculptures and you are a fireball!! 🙂

4. Overpowered Bullies

4. Overpowered Bullies

This set, exists almost everywhere! Overpowered can suggest power in many ways : talent, intelligence, physical strength, social strength, criminal mastermind,….” the list could go on forever. They are bullies! They pick on the weaker ones and feed on them. This set of people love to hold power on a person’s emotions. They need to have the monopoly in their area and they would do anything to get it right.

Note:

Bullying is extremely dangerous and can harm a person physically as well as mentally. The best way to handle a bully is to walk away from them and do not do anything to provoke them. Be confident about yourself. Never ever let them play with your head and emotions. Remember, you are stronger than the bullies in your own way. If you think it is going beyond limits, report it and seek help from a member of authority. Do not delay!

Stay Strong. Be Kind.

Yuvathi

I Wish I Had Done That…

Lately this has been a catch phrase that keeps going on and on in my head..

I wish I had done that…

I have done many stupid things, way too many blunders in this really short span of my life in this world. Stammered while giving an important speech in front of a huge audience, wore ridiculous outfits for the school annual-day’s play, forgot the lyrics of the song while singing on stage, danced like a lunatic in the classroom – not realizing that my teacher was standing right behind me, bunked many math classes because I loathed it, dated a nice guy although I knew it wouldn’t work out, tried learning to dance – Bharata Natyam only to fail terribly, spoiled some fine fabric in the name of embroidery,…ahhh..the list is endless.

But do I regret any of it? No, not at all!

I regret only the things that I didn’t do.

I have heard of that phrase a lot, but it never made sense to me when I was younger. But now I wonder how I missed out on trying different things. I wish I had the chance to think out of the box. I feel like I spent most of my time on academics, learning a few new things and playing. Although I don’t regret them either. I just wish I had done a lot more than just that.

I Wish I Had Done That...

I resigned my MNC job for some good reasons and I have taken up a few other activities. When I told people that I resigned, they were shocked. At first that scared me as I thought I made a huge blunder and messed up my life for good! But now that I rethink, it all seems to be a blessing in disguise. Being young and having the time to re-think your decisions and making your life the way you want is a once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity. Right? 🙂

I’m trying to make the best out of all the opportunities I’ve got. Even if it meant failing terribly and wondering “aahh..I did something so stupid all over again!”, I’m just going to try it all. I already did a few stuff that I found really amusing. I failed in a couple of gigs too, but I learnt a lot out of them. I don’t regret it.

Just Follow Your Heart

Yes, that’s what I’ve been thinking lately..

There is no more space for regret. There is no more time to waste. Woah! Feels like am in a movie. Would life change all at once with one song?? 😀

Is it possible to live a regret-free life? Will I be glad that I did everything I ever could Or, Will I Still Regret In Future Saying… “Aah.. I Wish I Had Done That…”?

Do you feel the same way about your life? Or do you have a different perspective? Feel free to share your opinions in the comment box below or just spend a couple more minutes to ponder… 🙂

Confused As Always,

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Most of us make the biggest of blunders when we are angry. The recent incident about a girl littering her boyfriend’s car with sanitary pads is one of the craziest news I have ever read on the internet. She thought he was having an affair, while he was actually out – planning a surprise birthday party for her. Oh dear… :-/

This reminds me of a wonderful adage that my mother often states in our mother tongue:

An Angry Man Is Never Smart.

How often have you done something miserable out of utter rage and regretted it? How many times did you wish you never said those words to your dear ones? How badly have you hurt your loved ones with your angry meaningless words and deeds and hated yourself forever?

What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?
What Do You Do To Avoid Doing/Saying Mean Things When You Are Angry?

Once the damage is done; the relationship is never the same. You may patch up, but there is always the scar.

How can you avoid this? Prevention is better then cure. But nobody is Jesus Christ or Mahatma Gandhi. We all do have our temper and limits. I can’t tell you not to get angry. But one can always learn to manage the situation and handle the temper.

Here are some of the healthy ways that I have heard of / follow myself.

  • Some have the habit of drinking several glasses of water when they are angry. That’s one of the healthiest ways I would suggest. It cools you down physically as well as mentally. It also doesn’t give you the opportunity to say mean things because you are busy gulping down the water!
  • Take a shower or shut the door and take a nap. Now, that’s my favorite! A nap might sound like a difficult idea, but it does wonders. It helps the brain to relax and gives piece of mind. It creates the space to re-think as the heat of the moment is gone and you get to analyze the situation in a different light!
  • Write down all those words in your journal or on a piece of paper, and destroy – burn/shred it later. Yes, I do that when am about to lose my temper. I have a separate notebook where I pour my heart out when am upset. Most of the times, when I re-read those words, I feel so glad that I didn’t carelessly utter them. Remember, destroying it is very important. You don’t want the other person to read it by chance! You don’t want those mean words around you either.
  • Go for a long drive or a walk. If you can’t stay in the same space as the other person, you can always walk away for sometime and come back when your mind is clear.

Some of the important DONT’S!

  • Never ever post things on social networking sites when you are mad. Moreover, advertising your meanness is also not a great idea. It might be a way to get back at the other person or might seem like an outlet for you, but for the world it would be “popcorn time“!
  • Do not blog about it either. Even if you write one, do not publish it immediately. Come back after a day or two. You might thank yourself for not publishing it! ( I have trashed a few drafts myself!)
  • Don’t go and grumble all the details to a third person and create a chaos. It is not going to help you in any way. Drama should be on stage. Not in real life!
  • Do not text, call, e-mail that person right away. Once you hit the send button, it is over and done! So stay away from communication tech and apps until you calm down.

Those are some of my favorite ideas. Do you have any other interesting ways to avoid doing/saying mean things when you are angry? 

Feel free to share them in the comment box below! 🙂

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult