Life Of A Career Woman : The Probationary/Learning Period

Every company/organization has a certain probationary or training period. It comes with the job role. For complex work, it could be a year. It doesn’t matter if you are a fresh graduate at your first job or an experienced professional on a new role, there is a certain learning period for every job role.

One thing we all tend to do is rush the process. We want to create a great first impression as a quick learner/ great employee / team player / manager and so we end up trying to hurry and skim through the learning period. This does no good. So DON’T.

The first year at a new job role is crucial. It is time for you – not just to impress but to learn and adapt. Some jobs require less than a year. So work it out accordingly.

Life Of A Career Woman : The Probationary/Learning Period
Life Of A Career Woman : The Probationary/Learning Period

The Learning Phase / Probationary Period – Dos & Don’ts :

  • Take your time. Learn everything in detail as much as you can. Ask for tips and tricks that only seasoned seniors would know due to their vast experience in the job role.
  • Be a sponge. Observe, absorb, assimilate.
  • Keep notes. Maintain a learning journal or tracker. List the topics you want to learn more about and research.
  • Make mistakes and learn from them. (Avoid blunders – remember you are still a temp, so a blunder could cost your job.)
  • Don’t try to justify your mistakes. Admit your mistakes and let your boss/team know that you are willing to learn and improve.
  • Don’t give excuses for your inefficiency or lack of knowledge. Work on it. Action speaks louder.
  • Don’t exaggerate or show off your skills yet. Be humble. This a period for you to establish a good foundation and develop a rapport; your time to shine will come eventually.
  • Be open & honest about what you know and don’t know. This will allow you to ask questions to your colleagues and learn more in detail.

This is not only time for your boss, team and the organization to determine if you are right for the job but it is also the time for you to figure out if this is the right job role for you.

So, make full use of it. Trust the process. Don’t rush it. Enjoy your learning phase as you will have a lot to prove for years to come!

Be Ambitious. Be Consistent. Be Brave.
~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult 

Life Of A Career Woman : The First Argument

Arguments – an exchange of words that’s given a negative connotation because the result doesn’t always leave a good taste. A sort of conversation that I try my best to avoid and yet have had to get into one every now and then. It is quite nerve wracking to start a conversation at work knowing that it will lead to an argument. It is even more awfully scary when you know you will be against a lot of seasoned senior professionals. But sometimes, it is important that young professionals share their fresh ideas to bring a change, a tiny twist in the way of things at work.

Life Of A Career Woman : The First Argument
Life Of A Career Woman : The First Argument

When I first raised my hand to disagree with my entire team over an existing system – a practice that deemed successful for decades.. I was scared-to-death.

My train of thoughts consisted of a 100 what-if questions:
“What if am wrong?”
“What if they all disagree?”
“What if I come out as an ignorant incompetent woman at work?”
“What if they think am arrogant?”
“What if am correct and become an outcast?”
“What if they all end up disliking me?”
“What if they agree and then I flop miserably during execution?”
“What if my disagreement turn out to be disrespectful to all the seniors?”
“What if my point is totally off-topic?”
The list is an endless infinite loop.

All these are common questions that pop in our head every time we deny to conform to the common expected behavior/outcome. This is when we leave our comfort zone and take a minor risk although they may seem like a life or death situation to our inexperienced humble little brain.

It is very easy to nod our head, say yes to everything and everyone. It is easy to live a life of no-conflict. It is comfortable but definitely not satisfying.

Here’s what I learnt as I took those risks and left my comfort zone to question existing practices, legacy systems and unnecessarily time consuming processes:

  • Most of the questions that popped in my head turned out to be true every once in a while. Some times I failed miserably, sometimes I became an outcast because I was right, sometimes I was disliked by everyone because I looked arrogant/disrespectful.
  • With time, I learnt the art of negotiation. I learnt to question without offending anyone although it does rarely happen and I can’t help it.
  • Slowly, I was taken seriously by my team. Most people respected me for taking the risk and having the guts to state my points accurately.
  • There will always be someone who says NO to everything I suggest purely because they just don’t want to agree with me.
  • DATA & STATS – they are everything. It is always important to back a statement with facts and numbers as they can never be wrong.
  • Unless questioned, nobody will know that there is a different approach.
  • Most importantly : Comfort doesn’t always mean Satisfaction.

I know it is scary. I know it is tough but it is all worth it. Take small risks everyday. To argue your point you first need to know to ask the right questions in the right way. You will learn to ask right questions only if you try to raise your hand in the first place. Even if you fail miserably once, remember you are in this job because you earned it – which means you are capable of understanding and questioning the system. Next time, you will know a better approach to your team, a better choice of words and timing.

Few years down the lane, you will also be sitting in the same panel and a newbie would question your system with a better approach. What you do now and the skills you pick up as you grow will determine the path you pave for the future young professionals.

Be Bold. Be Courageous. Be Smart.
~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult 

Life Of A Career Woman : An Intro

When I first started this blog, I had just turned twenty and I was a fresh college graduate. I had done some freelance jobs, but I hadn’t had any corporate experience. I stepped into the corporate world as an ambitious young girl – bubbling with excitement with a thirst to reach great heights in my career. I had no idea what this busy corporate world had in store for me.

Life Of A Career Woman
Life Of A Career Woman

Every blog post on the Internet gave the common insights – be professional, be punctual, wear these outfits, go the extra mile, learn something new and have it up your sleeve ready to be disposed at the right time and right place, don’t be the lazy-freeloader living off of other team members’ hard-work , don’t be this, don’t be that, do this and that..

But there were many practical things I wished someone had told me beforehand – some sort of guidance, warning and alert signals here and there would have been helpful. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any.

Now, I would like to bring this blog back to life and start sharing some of the simplest of things that I wished someone had told me. Things I share here may not be relatable for everyone, as they could differ from industry to industry , and of course from culture & people of one region to another! I will try my best to keep it as common and relatable as possible. If you could relate to it, please leave a comment. If it varies, please feel free to share your experiences too and it would be helpful for every other striving ambitious career woman on the planet!

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult 

Sometimes You Need To Let Go..

Life is just a collection of memories made by the collaboration of people who cross paths with us during the journey. Of people who are total strangers, best friends, family and acquaintances. Some remain by our side through the crests and troughs, some are mere passing clouds while some are merciless invincible hurricanes, that uproot every last thing we have and take them along with them…leaving behind nothing.

sometimes-you-need-to-let-go

The ones who stay by our side no matter what happens are our blessing. But what can we do about the rest of the people?

Should we run behind them, chase them and beg them to stay? Is it possible? Even if it were possible, is it worth?

What about those who misunderstand us? What about those who don’t care how we feel no matter how many times we try our best to explain ourselves?

Should we try to make them understand? Do we really need to explain ourselves? Is it worth all the pain and effort??

Last but not the least, what about those who deceive us? The ones we trusted blindly but left us shattered and heart broken? Should we be angry with them forever?

Does anger serve any purpose? Especially when the person has already left, does it impact anyone else other than ourselves? Or, should we go for a revenge?

Does revenge put the broken pieces of our heart back together and heal the scars?

It might be difficult to digest. It might be heavy on the chest, choking the throat, aching the heart and straining the eyes from breaking into a flood of tears… But the best thing we could do for ourselves is to let go..

Let go of the people who left and keep their memories,

While letting go of the bad memories and keeping the good ones.

Let go of all the pain and keep the joy.

Because you deserve happiness. You deserve to live a peaceful life. 

Let go.. Move on.

Be Kind to everyone. Be kind to yourself too.

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

My Life In The 1900s!

Well.. I thought am going to be back to the blogging world with a bang and introduced a series called The 4-Line Motivation Series and then Mother Nature couldn’t take it anymore. She got so furious that she came back with a bang too and literally destroyed our city with a terribly huge cyclone and heavy rain!

My Life In The 1900s!.gif

And, that’s how I went back to the 1900s! 😀

  • We didn’t have electricity for an entire week. So many trees had fallen down and many transformers were destroyed by the heavy winds and rain.
  • No water because we couldn’t run the bore-well motor.
  • No source of news/entertainment because obviously the TV didn’t work.
  • No source of communication because all networks were down.
  • Even if there was a weak signal, our phones’ batteries died.
  • No lights, fans or air-conditioning as the UPS died down after few hours.
  • We couldn’t inform our worried relatives and friends that we were safe.

Nothing with the latest technologies was functioning, it was like the darkest of times. The days were short, so there was not much sunlight and it was cold all the time. Had we had such experiences before, I think we would have handled it better. If you have read my earlier posts, you would know that I come from a place where 24°C is considered as winter! No Kidding! We hardly have winter and we always have bright sunlight all the time! 

So the cyclone was hard to handle as it was all so new for us.

It was like we were going back in time!

But it was really so much fun and awesome!

Time Travel – Here’s My Life In The 1900’s.. 😉

  • We drew water from the well manually. Yes, we did!
  • Everyone in our apartment came together to help each other! We made pulleys using ropes to pull up the water buckets to different floors in the apartment. One would draw the water, others would stand in line to pass the buckets and pull them over to various floors in the building through stairs!
  • We had to clear the blocked roads and couldn’t wait for someone else to do it for us. We took our own equipment and cleared the fallen trees by cutting them down manually and moving them off the roads.
  • Since we had no internet or TV, we all had great family time.
  • In the meantime, apart from all the physical work; I read several books! I read at least one book a day, which is nearly 400 pages a day! (Awesome right?!)
  • In order to save the candle light, we all sat in the same room all the time. We sat together for dinners and teas. We were seeing each other’s face while talking and not our phones for text messages.
  • We washed clothes and dishes sitting next to the well in the backyard (just like the olden days!)
  • We used Water like Liquid Gold!!!
  • We helped people in our neighboring apartments by sharing the water from our well. We had so much social networking going on without internet!
  • The news about the weather, power and network availability was shared from street to street through word of mouth just like the early 20th century!! 😀
  • Most importantly, we all went to bed by 8 pm! (well there’s nothing much to do in the dark, and the peace and quiet makes you sleep like a newborn puppy!)

The list is endless!

Living in the 1900’s was not so bad. In fact I was very comfortable without phone, internet and electricity. Wish we had battery-run radio just for weather updates and news. We have become so dependent on our smartphones and laptops that we didn’t even think about a blackout and emergency equipment. It was a wake up call. 🙂

Well well.. everything is back to normal now. I literally had to fight with the network service provider to fix my phone and internet connection and finally all is well!

In 2015 December, we were struck by heavy floods and 2016 December we faced a terrible cyclone. Hope 2017 would be calmer and peaceful.

Wish you all a wonderful New Year’s Eve.

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

 

You Can’t Be Nice To Everybody!

Yes, you read the title right. You can’t be “nice” to “everybody“.

We all try our best to be nice to everyone around us. It is a natural human tendency to want to be liked by everybody. We don’t want anybody saying mean things about us behind our backs, we don’t want conflicts., after all we are peace loving creatures and all that’s natural.

You Cant Be Nice To Everybody.jpg

Being  nice to people in general is good manners. We should not be disrespectful and rude to anybody and am not talking about that kind of “nice”. This is different.

Sometimes you need to

  • put your foot down and say NO!
  • raise your voice, speak up and stick to your principles and ethics.
  • differentiate the good and the bad, and move out if you know you can’t change the bad!

Yes, you definitely should do all these at some point of time or the other and that’s how you end up being not nice to “everyone”, but to those you care, like and those that support your principles and love you for who you are!

I have colleague who I believed is the nicest person ever! But honestly, he is just so nice to “everybody”. The more I know him, the more I feel he is not real. I feel that his friendship and care is not true, because he supports both sides of people even when he knows one of them is wrong! He doesn’t tell them they are wrong, he never puts his foot down when people say mean things, he doesn’t ever go up against people even if they are not nice to him. He would change topics, lighten the moments, and move along. Not a single conflict ever. He might be a great person to work with, but I would never trust him with my friendship because for me, friendship is all about loyalty, honesty and transparency.

That’s what happens if you are nice to everybody.

If you say you are nice to everybody, it means you are not real. 

Sometimes, a little bit of criticism and hatred from others reminds you that you’re on the right track. If you’re not being criticized then you are doing something wrong!

You Just Can’t Be Nice To Everybody! 🙂

Don’t worry if someone dislikes you. If you know you were doing the right thing, you’re being real. You’re being You. People will love you for who you really are and they are the ones you should care about.

Have A Cheerful Weekend!

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

Is It Okay To Be Unhappy?

You can’t smile all the time. Life is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes the thorn peeps out, more so often many thorns peep out and hurt you until you bleed. It is okay, it happens. It is okay to be unhappy.

Yes, it is 100% okay not to be okay!

Is It Okay To Be Unhappy.jpg

Do you know what is not okay?

Not admitting the fact that you are unhappy! Hiding your sadness and trying to fool yourself and the people around you.. Well, that is cruelty that you impose on yourself. If you are sad, let it out. Talk to your friend or family about it. If you don’t want people to hear it, then write it down in your diary, tear it, burn it, or blog about it, publish it, trash it. It’s all your choice. You have many options! If nothing works, cry out loud. Sometimes all you need is to melt your heart’s heaviness with some tears. It is okay to cry too!

But make sure, you let it ALL out. Don’t let failure and sadness rule you. You are the Queen/King of your life. It has to move the way you want it.

Sometimes your life becomes rebellious. It doesn’t let you take the lead. Well, why should you let your guard down?

Stay strong. Be as rebellious as you can.

Fight back. Fall down. But don’t forget to get up. Dust your shoulders.

With your head held high, Fight again.

Do you know why I’m writing about this now?

I have been going through a really rough time at home and at work. Really rough. But I didn’t hide it, I let it out. There’s no point in hiding it all and carrying it in your heart. Thanks to my friends, family, my blog and diary. I have been holding up and fighting back. Although it takes more of one’s own effort, it is always lovely to have people around you, who support and cheer you through everything.

I must tell you, it is so relieving once you admit the fact that you are having a tough time and that you are hurt and feeling low.

Sometimes I would lose all hope and go to bed with a heavy heart. Few times I wept to my heart’s relief. But the next morning I would wake up, dress up well, look in the mirror and tell myself, “I can do it”, “I will fight back”.

It is okay to be unhappy. Just don’t let it hold you back from doing what you want to do and being who you really want to be. Live your life. Don’t waste it.

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

Do You Judge A Person Based On Their Posts On Social Media?

We all know that before employing someone, most organizations not only do background checks on the potential employee’s educational qualification, previous employers’ details, crime records, etc; they also check their social media pages to know what kind of person they really are! Also, many people have been fired for updating inappropriate posts on their social media pages! So, that’s what employers do in order to maintain a healthy, productive and safe work environment.

Do You Judge A Person Based On Their Posts On Social Media

But the question is, “Do you judge someone based on what they post on social media?

If your answer is “Yes”, then don’t worry. You are not alone!

If you ask me whether I do…. “Oh yeah, Totally!” Especially if it’s a guy that I’m interested in… Definitely yes!

I get to know if the guy is a psychopath or an idiot who posts any hoax that pops on the internet or a self-obsessed selfie maniac or a pathetic guy who plays candy crush all the time…. Duh. :-/

I must admit that checking some of the guys’ social media pages have actually saved me many times from messing up! I believe that I can get to know a lot about a person by skimming through their posts for 5 minutes than from a 20 minute – full length conversation with them over a cup of coffee!

It is like reading someone’s autobiography written without any edits, filters or exaggeration!

Your posts reflect who you are… what you like, re-tweet, share and comment, everything matters!

It’s not just you and me, it happens with almost everyone.

So, here’s a kind note:

The next time you post something on your social media page, take a minute – think, and hit the upload button. Update your privacy settings – you don’t want just anybody to trespass and judge you!

I have a decent privacy setting and limited contacts/friends/followings on my social media pages because I don’t want to be some easily available open book to be skimmed through anybody’s will!

If you think you are a really careful “poster”, then cool! 🙂 

If not, OMG Wake up!! Keep up!!! 😀

And.. Of course, enjoy skimming and judging through every other’s page.

Oh heyyy! Don’t you judge me for doing that!

It’s not trespassing unless you walk (hack) through someone’s protected private property! Right?! 😮

And of course! I am just improving my GK on people and trying to understand them and also saving myself from some potential danger.. 😉

If you resonate with my thoughts, please feel free to share this post on your social media pages!

If you don’t.. well then please feel free to share this post on your pages and write your comments on why you don’t down below! 😉

Happy Weekend!

~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult

Over-Possessiveness Can Kill A Relationship!

Being possessive is cute. Yes, when someone is possessive about you, you realize how much you mean to them. It shows you that they don’t want to lose you no matter what! Of course, that’s really sweet! Isn’t it?
But too much of anything is dangerous. It is definitely true when it comes to possessiveness too!

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Recently, I almost broke up with my best friend because he was too threatened by my interest for another guy! Yes, my best friend was feeling scared that he might lose me to my new “crush”. He was afraid that I wouldn’t spend time with him just because I thought this new guy was hot!

Woah….Right?

Who would ever stop spending time with their best friend! Actually, the best friend usually forms the support system. He is supposed to be the one helping me with the timing and catchy dialogues and stuff…right?

But that didn’t happen.

Instead he was so threatened and over-possessive that I lost interest on my new-found crush and had a bitter taste in my friendship too. I couldn’t take his constant nagging anymore. I almost broke up with my bestie! But anyway, we talked it all out and we are back together as BFF’s and my crush is seeing someone else now.. *Damn It*

So, here’s a request – small piece of advice from a victim of over-possessiveness to the rest of the world :

Caging a bird is never a good idea. The bird is meant to fly high and not to be strangled in a cage. The moment it finds a gap, it will definitely fly away!

Let it free, take good care and it will fly back to you because you are the home in this whole wide world.

If you love someone, it is okay to be possessive. But please have some confidence about your relationship! Understand that whoever has to stay, will definitely stay with you. If they don’t, then they were never meant to be!

Do not kill what you have because you’re too afraid of losing it. If you constantly fear..you will definitely lose it anyway! So, please take good care of what you have. Enjoy and love with all your heart!

Be the sweet home for your loved ones.
Don’t ever be a cruel cage.

Live and let live.
~Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

Pranking Is Good. Bullying Is Not. Learn The Difference.

It has been a trend to pull a crazy prank on someone, make a video of it and upload it on YouTube, Facebook and other social media networks. I enjoy watching them too!

My friends are wonderful pranksters and I love being in their company because you never know what they are going to do next, and it is always a funny and pleasant experience 🙂 And, if you are a regular visitor of my blog, you would know that I strongly stand against bullying.

Today, I thought it is high time I put down my words about the difference between a smart prankster and a sadistic bully.

Pranking Is Good. Bullying Is Not. Learn The Difference.

The best example of a hilarious, intelligent and awesome prank in my opinion would be the recent “zombie attack” prank, pulled by a girl’s two lovely brothers and mom, on her way home when she was on anesthesia (apparently a bit high) after pulling out her wisdom tooth. Such an amazing prank that it went viral on the internet and her family was also invited on the Ellen Show!

If you haven’t watched it, check out this video link right here!

Zombie Attack! Apocalypse – Prank Video 

So, that’s how a prank should be. Funny, Intelligent and absolutely Memorable.

But these days, most people are getting confused between a prankster and a bully.

If your prank hurts someone physically/mentally/emotionally, then it is not a Prank.

It is called Bullying.

And anyone who laughs at someone’s pain is not a nice human.

He is a sadist. 

Recently, I saw a video with a caption saying “haha very funny” and in it, was a girl celebrating her birthday and when she was about to blow the candles, a moron – (the guy sitting next to her) smashed her face right into the cake.

That Is Not Funny At All.

I saw another video of an Ultimate Bully, who thinks he is a cool prankster! He takes his sister’s new iPhone, drops it right in front of her eyes and breaks it, tears a few pages from his grandma’s favorite book, masturbates in front of his laptop in the living room when his mom comes home, oh God, the list of his horrendous activities is endless.

After watching it, I wondered if this guy is even in his right mind? Or does he have some mental disorder? I don’t know.

If you pull a prank, both the prankster and the Prankee (hoping that’s a word) should be able to think about it later and have a good laugh. It should not hurt anyone’s feelings/body.

Before pulling a prank, think “Would I like it if someone does this to me? Would I be hurt? Would I hate them after this?

Think twice, putting yourself in their shoes.

Be a nice and lovingly funny Human Being and NOT a Sadistic Moron.

~ Yuvathi ❤ 🙂

The Confused Young Adult