The Bitter Sweet Unrequited Love

Not all in the world are blessed to love and be loved. Are they? Even if they are, only a few are lucky enough to be loved by someone they love the most. I’ve seen many lovey-dovey teen couples, married ones, long-distant couples, couples that always fight yet stay together, friends who turned lovers…,the list is endless. I always believed that friendship and love requires two people who love and care for each other.

But I realized quite recently, that to love and be loved are two different things and it cannot and need not always happen with the same person.

Can love be bitter yet sweet? Oh yes, ask the unrequited ones.

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That one person, no matter what they do, you tend to stay with them, like them, protect them and love them forever. Your heart hurts every time you see them and it hurts even more when you don’t see them at all. Just a simple text can brighten your day, a little hi would give you butterflies…but the moment you realize that your emotions are not reciprocated and that they are not yours forever; the heavy hollow feeling sinks in and the poor little heart cringes in pain.. It reminds me of Shakespeare’s quote:

“Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.”

Everybody, except that one person knows how you feel. Why can’t they see it? Even if your brain says “it is impossible you dumbo, let it go!” your heart says “oh no, please don’t”. People around you would say you are pathetic, helpless, desperate and give you endless advice on how to make a move or how to move on but they can never understand the pain of confronting, letting go and moving on. We are humans, not machines to delete a person and erase all the feelings instantly. But the truth is, letting go is hard, holding on to the same is even harder. It would take time., but yes, someday you will learn to live with it, carry it forward and move on.

Someday you will figure it out and get it all sorted. Until then.. treasure the dreams, give your best.. for all you have is one life and it has to go on.. 🙂

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5 Simple Things We All Secretly Wish For..

Every human has a million desires. But there are a few simple things that we all wish for. There are certain things that can’t be changed. They are not rules made by the government. They are not laws laid out on paper. They exist since time immemorial. Our lives are wound around these principles. Some we wish we could do, while some we all wish to change, but never could and never will. Why? Oh, I wish I knew..

Here are the 5 simple things we all wish for..

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1. To say what we have in our minds without any fear of being misunderstood

Every single person in this world is afraid of being misunderstood. When you talk to a person of interest or of great importance, say, your boss, your spouse or your crush, you tend to be overly conscious about your choice of words. Certain things should be spoken, and words once uttered can not be taken back. If those words are mistaken, it becomes totally impossible to clear the mess.

Everyday we meet so many people who are a total nuisance to the society. They are irksome, parasitic and some are pests we would love to shoo away. Even their mere presence would be so annoying. Well, Can you say it out loud? oh..you wish! 😀

Yeah, I wish I could tell the guy sitting next to me that he is so hot! Can I? Nope. 😛

2. To have relationships without conflicts

Now that’s a Bingo!

There are many situations where we wish we could go back in time and tell ourselves not to blurt out those terrible words and lose that one lovely person from our life. We wish we took time before we misjudged, talked back and spoiled a beautiful relationship. Relationships are like glass; once broken, they can never be the same. Sometimes these conflicts shatter them into pieces that can never be put back together.. 😦

How awesome would it be if we never had any conflicts with our loved ones! 

3. To not bother about what the other person is thinking

You may say you don’t care, but am sure, in some corner of your mind you are wondering what the other person is thinking. Sometimes even when you see some random stranger staring at you in the bus, you wonder, what is he thinking?? why is he staring!! Is it my new hair cut? or is it my tattered old T-shirt??

Before we do something, even if our heart says “go for it”, we think twice and wonder a million times about what others might say. If we don’t think before, then we “worry” a million times after doing it 😛 Why should we worry about others’ opinions? Why does it bother us so much? Well, we wish we could stop but we never can and never will.

Whenever some one says “I don’t care”, trust me, they actually do. 😉

4. To end the power play

Nowadays power, money and influence alone can get a work done. Sheer talent and hard work can’t take you anywhere. It works only for one in a million. You have to be “somebody” or you should have contacts with “somebody” to have your voice heard. :-/ Every common man would have faced such a situation in life and would have been frustrated by these power plays at some point of time or the other. Can anything be done about this?

Can we end this? Oh, I wish… 

5. To respect a person for what he IS & not for what he HAS

The most important of all, the one thing we all wish for the most… To be respected for what we are and not for what we have. People with name and fame are thrown away once they lose it. Some stick to you for your money while some stay with you because you are famous. Only a very few remain with you forever for what you are. This is a universal-sad-ugly truth.

Why can’t people love you and not your things? Oh, I wish I knew… 😦

Take The First Step

Have you ever felt the impulse to do something because you found it so exciting? But then backed out because you were worried about what others would say? Or because you were afraid that you might fail? And felt worse after losing that golden opportunity?

Well, you are not alone. Almost every human being does the same. Everybody is afraid to take the first step towards anything that’s beyond their comfort zone.

Why do we do that? Is it precaution? Is it shyness? Or Is it really Fear??

When somebody called out for a volunteer to give a presentation in front of a 100 people, I didn’t think if I can talk in front of such a huge audience. I just volunteered. When they asked for participants for an on-the-spot poetry writing contest, I didn’t think if I could ever write a poem, I enrolled my name. When my grandma asked me to sing along with her, I didn’t hesitate, I joined.

Whenever I didn’t think or analyze or hesitate, I did my best. Yes, that’s when I got to know my hidden talents.

I  wouldn’t say I never failed. I too have failed miserably. I have also been embarrassed and laughed at. But when I did, I learned to laugh at myself. I remember the very first time I participated in a public speaking contest. I was 10 years old then, I got on to the stage, and in front of a 100 people, all I said over the mic was “Good Morning” and after a long pause “Thank You” 😀  The entire audience split into roars of laughter. But that didn’t stop me because I knew I could talk and I wanted to prove it. Not to the world, but to myself. The next time I was more prepared to face the audience and got rid of stage fright. Now I can say with 100% confidence that I can talk in front of thousands of people without any fear.

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I realized, the more we re-think about doing anything that’s beyond our comfort zone, the more we tend to resist. Some call it shyness while some others call it fear.

Well, if you never try, how will you know?

Here’s a thought, no matter what you do or don’t do, the world always has something to say. Not doing something different wouldn’t stop them from judging you. So, the next time you come across a painting contest or a marathon challenge or anything that makes you push the envelope, don’t think, just give it a try. Even if you fail, trust me, you won’t regret it. 🙂

Think again, 

Would you be walking now, if you were afraid to take your first step?

The Teacher I Admire

My Neighbor-Grandpa

I’ve met many people who have taught me many things in life. My family, friends, foes, acquaintances, school teachers, lecturers, the postman, gardener… the list goes on and on and each of them has taught me something or the other. In fact, I should call every one of them as my teacher.
I remember shedding tons and tons of tears when one of my most favorite teachers retired from our school. She was the one who protected me, guided me in the right path and carved me into a person who I am right now. Not even once did she scold me in my entire school life, even though there used to be a minimum of 10 complaints about me every day about all my mischief and pranks.

On the day of her retirement when I was drowned in my own flood of tears, my teacher looked right at me, her eyes brimming with the same emotion and said “Men may come and men may go dear..“  – A quote from one of my most favorite poems by Alfred Lord Tennyson. She was and always is the best teacher in my life.

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But the teacher whom I “admire” the most is my Neighbor Grandpa! Yes, the most loving, generous and pious man with an ultimate flare for wit and wisdom. He was more modern in “thoughts” and “deeds” than most of the 21st century’s so-called modern men. A die-hard Sachin Tendulkar and Virendar Sehwag fan who gave me the best company during every cricket match and covered me with a warm blanket when I fell asleep on the couch during those long and ever-ending test matches!

He taught me what “being modern” actually means. He used to talk to all the neighbors and friends with equal love irrespective of who they were, what they did and where they belonged. Be it the mail delivery guy, the garbage collector, the water delivery guy, newspaper boy, the vegetable vendor.., he would invite every one of them inside his house, switch on the fan and tell them to relax a few minutes on the very same couch. He had those orange candies and savories, always in stock and served everybody with love. Sometimes young men or families used to visit him and thank him for all the favors he did for their education, job or wedding.. Yes, he always lived for others.. 🙂

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His wife, an ardent lover of Carnatic music, used to attend every Carnatic concert in the locality and he always accompanied her even if there was an important cricket match between India and Australia because her happiness meant a lot to him. He used to buy all the latest audio cassettes as a gift for his wife. Just to see that smile on her face. 🙂 He was around 75 years old then.. He used to deposit a separate amount of money in her account every month as he believed that every woman should be independent and she should never ask, not even her own husband for money. Wow! Isn’t it?

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I saw him few days before he left this world, he had lost his vision and was bed-ridden, even that day, even though he couldn’t see me nor could he hear my voice clearly, with the same bright smile and energy he told me ”Come, have some snacks with me and tell me all about your school“. 

A man who believed and followed equality, loved everyone whole heartedly and lived for others.. A teacher who set an example and inspires me always and forever.  🙂

Yes, as my teacher said, “Men may come and men may go, but yeah, grandpa’s love and inspiration lives forever” 🙂

The Beginning

Last Sunday, at 7:00 am, I opened my eyes after a sound sleep, grabbed my ‘smart phone’ lying next to my pillow, opened Whatsapp, went through the inbox, refreshed my e-mail, tweeted a meaningless update about my desire to drink a hot cup of coffee,swiped through Facebook news feeds, checked the number of likes for my photo that I uploaded the previous night (thank God it was 50+ likes in one night) and updated my hardly used apps for no reason and finally decided I should get up and looked at the clock, well, it was 8:30 am.

social media

Wait, what? 1.5 hours on total crap? Yes, one and half solid hours, wasted ruthlessly on some totally useless activity which made some guy in the U.S a billionaire and made you poorer  every time you logged in! The worst part is, most of these virtual friends are not your friends after all! These virtual friends do not actually care about you. They just want to know what you are up to, so that they can do something more ridiculous to get more likes and shares than you do!

This hollow thought sunk into me, all of a sudden, at 8:30 am. How? I have no idea, but lucky me, I could at least realize what I was missing.. My lovely family waiting for me to join for breakfast, the red rose that bloomed in my front yard this morning after a lot of hard work, manuring and grafting, my neighbor’s child waiting to show me her new birthday dress, above all, “my me time“. That very moment, I felt like an enlightened modern day Buddha, and just like Buddha, I shred all my useless apps. Deleted my Whatsapp account, deactivated my Facebook account and logged out of twitter and e-mail. Wow! The feeling was amazing! I was no more a part of the rat race in the fake world. I felt reborn in the “actual” real world.

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Now, my real friends who really care about me, take time amidst their busy schedule, call me and ask me how I am. That feels great! When I sit with my family, am actually with them and not with my phone and my virtual so-called friends!

family-bonding

Beautiful moments in life are captured in our heart and treasured as memories and not captured in a camera and saved in the hard disk.

I realized, I must share this with the world, with people who might be missing some of the most beautiful moments in their life while looking at some meaningless meme about Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend or Kim Kardashian’s butt.

How nice it would be if people share their daily fun anecdotes about their time at school or workplace with their family and friends and bond with them instead of tweeting the same to the world that cares the least? How happy a woman would be if her husband and children appreciate her culinary skills over dinner instead of sharing a picture of “Starbucks Coffee” on Instagram saying “yummmyyyy” even before taking a sip?!

Take a break for a moment.  Rethink. What are you doing with your life? 

Oh! By the way.. I would like to say..

Welcome to my Blog – “The Confused Young Adult🙂